Is Money Status Driving Your Spending in California? 💸
Living in California brings many opportunities, but it also brings financial stress. With some of the highest housing costs in the country, a competitive job market, and a culture that often equates success with financial status, it’s easy to feel like your worth is tied to your wallet. If you’ve ever found yourself overspending to “keep up” or feeling anxious about money despite earning a good income, you’re not alone.
This pull toward money status—using spending, saving, or financial behaviors to signal value or belonging can quietly shape financial decisions in ways that leave you stressed, overwhelmed, or stuck.
In this blog, we’ll explore the hidden forces that influence financial behavior, from money beliefs and ADHD to relationship dynamics and high-cost living. We’ll also look at how financial therapy can help Californians untangle money stress and find stability.
What are the Impactful Money Beliefs Influencing Your Financial Status? 💭
Our money habits don’t form in a vacuum. They’re shaped by money beliefs—the unconscious scripts we carry from childhood, culture, and past experiences.
Some common money beliefs include:
Money as Status: “If I have nice things, people will respect me.”
Money as Security: “I’ll only feel safe if I save every penny.”
Money Avoidance: “Talking about money is stressful; I’d rather not think about it.”
Money Worship: “If I just make more money, all my problems will go away.”
These beliefs can create cycles of overspending, under-saving, or constant money anxiety. In California, where social comparison is amplified by lifestyle expectations, these beliefs can feel even more powerful.
How Can ADHD Influence Your Financial Status and Money Management? 🧩
ADHD impacts more than focus at work or school; it can directly affect money management.
Common challenges include:
Impulsivity → impulse purchases, credit card debt.
Disorganization → missed bills, overdraft fees.
Emotional Spending → shopping to cope with stress or rejection.
For many with ADHD, these patterns lead to money anxiety—a sense of shame or fear around finances. But ADHD and money problems are not personal failings; they’re linked to brain wiring.
With structure, accountability, and therapeutic support, individuals with ADHD can learn tools that build financial stability without relying on willpower alone.
What Attachment Styles Affect Financial Status in Couples? 💑
Money conflicts are one of the leading sources of tension in relationships. A big reason? Attachment styles—the patterns we bring into emotional and financial intimacy.
Avoidant attachment: may hide spending, avoid money conversations, or commit financial infidelity.
Anxious attachment: may over-monitor spending or pressure their partner for financial reassurance.
Secure attachment: open communication, shared goals, collaborative decision-making.
When partners’ attachment styles clash, money becomes a battlefield. This is where couples' financial counseling or premarital financial counseling can be transformative—helping couples build transparency, address financial infidelity, and create a shared vision for money.
How Does Living in California or High-Cost Living Areas Impact Your Financial Status? 🌆
California’s economy is dynamic but demanding. Rising housing costs, childcare expenses, and lifestyle inflation often push people into financial stress, even with above-average incomes.
The cultural emphasis on success, paired with constant comparison through social media, can fuel overspending and money shame. On the other end, sudden wealth, common in tech or startup culture, can trigger its own challenges, sometimes called Sudden Wealth Syndrome.
Whether you’re striving to get by or adjusting to new wealth, high-cost living creates unique pressures that make financial therapy especially valuable in California.
Can AI Help Improve Your Financial Status? 🤖
AI-powered tools - like budgeting apps, money coaches, and personalized reminders - can support healthier money habits. They can help with:
Tracking expenses automatically.
Sending payment reminders.
Suggesting budgets based on income and spending patterns.
But while AI can improve awareness, it can’t address the emotional roots of financial stress: money trauma, anxiety, or relational conflict. For lasting change, AI works best when paired with therapeutic support from licensed mental health clinicians.
What Tips Can Enhance Your Financial Status and Stability? 🌱
If you’re ready to take small steps toward more balanced finances, try:
Values-Based Spending → Identify what truly matters to you and align spending accordingly.
Money Dates → Set aside 20 minutes weekly to review finances, either solo or with a partner.
Notice Emotional Triggers → Pause before purchases and ask, “Am I buying this for me or for status?”
Practice Transparency in Relationships → Share financial goals and challenges openly.
Seek Support → Financial therapy helps address both practical tools and emotional roadblocks.
Are There Case Studies Highlighting Successful Financial Status Transformations? 📖
While every client’s story is unique, here are some common transformations seen in financial therapy:
A couple in San Diego struggling with hidden debt rebuilt trust through financial infidelity therapy, learning how to talk openly about money.
A tech professional dealing with Sudden Wealth Syndrome used therapy to shift from impulsive and guilt-spending to mindful investing aligned with personal values.
An individual with ADHD reduced financial anxiety by pairing systems (automatic bill pay, reminders) with emotional coping strategies learned in therapy.
👉 These transformations highlight that when emotions, relationships, and money scripts are addressed together, lasting financial change becomes possible.
How Can ART and ACT Techniques Support Individuals Dealing with Financial Status? 🧠🌱
Two evidence-based approaches are particularly helpful in financial therapy:
ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy): Helps clients reprocess money trauma—such as growing up in poverty, financial betrayal, or career loss—so past pain doesn’t dictate present money choices.
ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy): Supports clients in identifying values, practicing grounding, and making money decisions aligned with long-term goals rather than short-term fear.
Together, ART and ACT address both the emotional wounds and behavioral habits behind financial struggles.
Why is Financial Therapy Effective in Addressing Financial Status Behaviors? 🌿
Traditional financial advice focuses on budgets and numbers. Therapy focuses on emotions and relationships. Financial therapy bridges both.
By working with a financial therapist in California, you can:
Address financial trauma and money shame.
Learn healthier responses to financial anxiety.
Repair relationship trust after financial infidelity.
Build stability in high-cost environments.
Financial therapy isn’t just about improving your bank account—it’s about building peace of mind, stronger relationships, and a healthier relationship with money.
Discover Other Services at Koru Financial Therapy 🦋
Money status and high-cost living are just one part of the financial story. At Koru Financial Therapy, we offer a holistic range of services designed to help you build a healthier, more balanced relationship with money.
Alongside support for financial anxiety and status-driven stress, we also specialize in:
Premarital financial counseling—building a strong foundation for your partnership.
Intensive support for peri- and postnatal financial transitions—navigating money changes during life’s biggest shifts.
Therapy for money-related challenges, including:
Financial infidelity
Financial trauma
ADHD-related money avoidance and money worship
We also invite you to join our Build Your Balance community—a supportive space for ongoing reflection, learning, and growth in both your emotional and financial well-being.
About the Author ✍️
Mariah Hudler, a financial therapist in California and founder of Koru Financial Therapy, works with individuals and couples navigating the intersection of money and mental health. She specializes in how ADHD, trauma, and life transitions shape financial behaviors.
Her approach blends therapeutic depth with practical guidance, integrating ART and ACT to help clients shift painful money patterns into values-driven choices. Mariah is passionate about supporting clients through both everyday money stress and major financial transitions, including sudden wealth.
Grounded in the realities of California’s high-cost culture, she brings compassion and clarity to the complexities of financial well-being. Outside of her work, Mariah finds balance in the outdoors—often hiking coastal trails or recharging among the redwoods.🌲
